Barlow "Gutted" as Take That Replace him with Williams. The spoof.com

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Barlow "Gutted" as Take That Replace him with Williams



Only days after triumphantly reaching the summit of Kilimanjaro with eight fellow celebrities in aid of Comic Relief, Gary Barlow is reportedly a broken man today.

He has returned to the UK to find his fundraising efforts eclipsed by hellraiser and ex-Take That member, Gobbie Williams, who has decided to wear a dress with 'Little Britain' stars Matt Lucas and David Walliams. And as if that wasn't bad enough, last night his record company broke the news that he has been replaced in his chart-topping band Take That, by the erratic Port Vale fan as well.

In a press conference this morning, Williams (49) defended the decision to dump Barlow, who has reportedly written 4,876 songs for the band. "The boys always liked me better. They've wanted to get rid of Gary for some time but didn't like to tell him" he explained. "We all think he's dead boring, dances like a dad at a wedding and let's face it, his songs are pretty crap too."

When asked to comment on the situation, the remaining three members of the band Mark Orange, Jason Owen and Howard Thingy, all nodded.

Sources close to Barlow (62) described the singer's mood as 'dodgy' but added "This is clearly a case of while the cat's away the mice will conspire behind your back. Gary's down but he won't give up. Apart from Elton John, he's the most talented writer in the UK and there are loads of new opportunities out there for him. He's been approached to write the theme tune for 'Crossroads' when ITV bring it back in the Autumn and Bisto have asked him to write a new jingle"

Barlow was unavailable for comment yesterday, but unpopular '80's chubster, David Van Day, was said to be 'now optimistic' about working with the devastated star and Boyzone veteran Ronan Keating (50) on his charity single "Kili, Kili, Kili, We're Celebrities and We're Silly."

Gobbie Williams!!

And Mark Orange, Jason Owen & Howard Thingy!!! Ahaha!!!